All our comparison with other people begins with what we think of ourselves. Jealousy disappears when we understand our uniqueness. We may then create another problem. We may believe ourselves to be so special that we start taking ourselves far too seriously.
What is seriousness?
Seriousness is nothing but paying undue importance to something, at the cost of everything else. It arises from the inability to see that all of life is just a drama that is unfolding every minute. Seriousness is the result of over-expectation from life. All our seriousness is just about sandcastles! For the child, at that young age, sand castles seem precious, whereas at our age, stone castles seem precious, that’s all. Whether it is a sand castle or a stone castle, the seriousness behind it is the same. The object may be different, but the seriousness is the same. So don’t laugh when children fight over sand castles.
Seriousness closes your mind to the openness and freedom of life. It makes you dull and dead. It curbs your thinking and makes you stick to the familiar patterns that you know and use all the time.
Seriousness kills spontaneity. Seriousness destroys creativity.
Science has proved that when you perform a task in a relaxed and light manner, your thinking and decision-making capacity is automatically enhanced. The same task when performed in a serious manner dulls your mind. When you do something too seriously, when you are too concerned about the result, you are actually not allowing yourself to perform at the optimum level.
Of course, you need to make plans, and you need to think ahead. But do it with sincerity, not with seriousness. Seriousness is not the same as sincerity. Sincerity is focusing on the task with enthusiasm and youthfulness. Sincerity is giving the task your best without worrying excessively about the result! When you are serious, you don’t enjoy, you don’t laugh. How can you laugh when you are serious!
Be sensitive. Being sensitive means being strong, being aware of everything.
Understand, being sensitive does not mean being open to everything. Being unable to say ‘no’ does not mean sensitivity. That is actually ego! The person who is not able to say ‘no’ when he needs to is egoistic.
Sensitivity is having the clarity about when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no’ and having the sincerity and courage to follow that decision.
Perfectionism always comes from your mind. It becomes a goal for you. You work towards it as a goal. When you work towards it as a goal, it becomes dead and mundane. But when you are total, when you are established in your heart, it becomes a deep experience. The outcome has to be beautiful, and it will give you joy. Then, whatever you do, you will be in tune with Existence. Whatever you do, do it wholly, totally, and it will be total. You won’t have to worry about perfectionism at all.
Perfectionism never gives you joy. It only fulfills your ego. Even if you feel fulfilled at the end of it, it is only a fulfillment of your ego, never a fulfillment of your being. Be very clear, perfectionists are the biggest egoists. They miss the dimension of being total. Totality is possible when you enter into something deeply. Perfectionism is never possible because it is in your mind, and your mind keeps changing its definition of perfection!
Have the courage to make mistakes. Serious people are always afraid to make mistakes. They take themselves too seriously. They think too much about themselves. It is too much to make mistakes and have someone point it out to them. Actually I tell you, these people who are afraid of making small mistakes, end up making big blunders!
Actually, when you make a mistake, people point it out, and you are not able to bear it. Your ego gets hurt and you are very sensitive to this. So to avoid getting your ego hurt, you try your best not to make mistakes. You plan so unconsciously and continuously to keep guarding your ego. But the reasons you give are all different. It is not that you are lying. It is just that you are not aware of the subtle way in which your ego works.
There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. In fact, by making a few mistakes, you come to know clearly how to avoid making mistakes because you have experientially understood it. The more you learn from mistakes, the more you know about how not to make mistakes. Do things to the best of your intelligence and enthusiasm but without worrying about whether you might make a mistake. The moment you are worried that it might be a mistake, you are worried about your ego getting hurt.
source: Living Enlightenment