A true mother is one who lets go of her child when the time is right. A mother who is too possessive of her child should probably hesitate to give birth in the first place! Even giving birth is a form of letting go, she is allowing the child to leave her body! Only a mother who is ready to allow the next level of explosion to happen, a mother who is ready to let go, a mother who is ready to give inspiration only can be a real mother.
If you are possessive, if you feel sad just thinking about separating from the child, then you should not even give birth to the child! You should continuously feed him through the umbilical cord. The umbilical cord connection should be continuously kept alive! Just as the child grows physically only after you deliver him into the outside world after nine months, likewise, he can grow psychologically only if you allow him to break from you.
Physical disconnection is birth. Psychological disconnection is sannyas.
In that way I am very fortunate. When I went and told my mother that I wanted to leave home for sannyas, it was late at night, around eleven o’clock. I went to the temple, spent some time as usual, and came home at my regular time. I opened the door with my key and walked in. I wore wooden sandals, normally worn by wandering ascetics. They made a loud noise on that granite floor! My mother’s usual custom was to wake up, prepare the food of my choice, and serve me the moment I entered. If I had finished my dinner at the temple, I would tell her and both of us would go to sleep.
That particular night, she got up and was about to prepare food. I called her and told her, ‘I have decided that I am leaving home for sannyas. You can give me food tonight, even though I have already eaten. I will eat now because tomorrow I will be leaving.’
It was a very casual announcement from my side. Of course, she was shocked, but she did not say anything. One thing is that all of my family knew from the beginning that talking and trying to convince me to do otherwise would never work. They knew that before saying anything, I would be very clear about it inside. Only after knowing what to do, would I say it out loud. When I say something, it means it is going to be done, that’s all!
Tears started pouring from her eyes. I looked at her and asked, ‘What do you mean by crying? Do you mean that I should not go?’
She shook her head and said, ‘No, I am not saying you should not go. I am crying because I am not able to control myself. I am not able to accept it. That’s all. I can’t say that you cannot go.’
She knew all along that one day this would happen. One day or the other I would leave. It was predicted through my horoscope. The beauty of it was, she never said ‘No!’ Not only did she not tell me I couldn’t go, she broke the news to my father as well. My father thought she had shouted at me and created some problem and that was the reason I had decided to go. He asked her, ‘Did you shout at him? Did you create any problem? You know how he is!’
My mother said, ‘No, I did not shout or say anything. He came of his own accord and told me this.’ Then my father calmed down.
It was a straight and simple declaration. My father came to me, sat down and asked, ‘Swami, your mother is saying a few things as your words. Are these things true?’
Funnily, they used to call me ‘Swami’ even in those days!
I told him, ‘Yes. I have decided to leave home to pursue sannyas and become enlightened.’
It was a shock to him. But he saw that I was very clear, balanced, cool and relaxed. He made only one statement. He said, ‘If you fall sick, please inform us. We want to take care of you.’ That’s all. He simply said, ‘If you ever fall sick anywhere during your travels, please inform us. We want to take care of you. That is the only thing we want, nothing else. Otherwise, do what you want.’
My parents never stood in my way. Understand, any relationship, including the parental relationship, is a healthy relationship, only when the person is ready to allow the next phase to happen. I have seen thousands of youngsters who are so inspired, who are bold enough, who are courageous enough to take up this path of seeking. However, they don’t even give themselves a chance to explore because of their parents.
Parents simply fall into the regular way of life, living to satisfy other people’s ego, and bringing up children. Very rarely, a few souls get the inspiration and courage to explore. Try to understand that I am not asking you to train your kids or force your kids to become Swamis. No! I am saying that if at all they feel that click towards sannyas, do not stand in their way. You will be blessed if you do not stand in their way.
Have the intelligence to see the path the child has chosen. He has chosen the ultimate path. Even if he cries and struggles and becomes a failure, there is nothing wrong, if that is your fear. I might have been a failure in my previous ten births. That is why this time I am successful! One thing: when the struggle is for sannyas, even if enlightenment does not happen, it is not a failure. It is a great success because you lived with integrity, and that too, in the conscious field. In the conscious field, Existence watches over you completely. You are taken care of at every step. So understand that any exploration, any research, any adventure in the conscious field should be encouraged, allowed, and supported.
I feel eternally grateful to my parents for not standing in the way.
source: Living Enlightenment