“Unclutching – De-program the inner self” (part 1)

Let me express a key word – Mahavakya, the word which you need to completely understand. May be modern day ‘Mahavakya’. The word is “Be Unclutched”. Now let us try to analyze and internalize this one truth, one mahavakya. We have beautiful different Mahavakyas in Vedic tradition – Aham Brahmasmi, Tatvamasi, Pragnam Brahmam, Sarva Kalvidam Brahmam. These are all different Mahavakyas. Be Unclutched – What do I mean by the word – being Unclutched. Let me try to explain it with a simple diagram, how, continuously our mind is working and how we are clutching, connecting and creating a life or suffering and how we are creating the ignorance or depression.


Thoughts are happening in your system the way it is shown in the above diagram. Each block represents a thought. Different shape, different size, different length, different width, different kinds of thoughts. Sometimes, a thought (J) is about some joyful experience which you had, sometime about some suffering (S) which you had, sometime you have some guilt thoughts (G), again sometime some joyful (J) memories, again some painful memories (P) and some depression memories (D)….different, different thoughts. If you just do a simple experiment, just for 5 min, if you write whatever goes inside you without editing as it is and read that page again, suddenly you will realize that you are nothing but a bunch of unconnected, independent, illogical, unclutched thoughts. Please understand the thinking flow which is happening inside you is not logically connected. For example, if you see a dog in the street, suddenly you will remember the dogs which you have seen when you were a child or the dogs about which you used to be afraid. Then you will remember your childhood days, then you will remember the teacher under whom you studied. Then you will remember the place where teacher stayed. The link will go on. But there is no logical connection between the dog which you have seen in the street and the teacher with whom you studied when you were young. Of course, both of them barked at you.  There is no logical connection. Suddenly from where the mind moves to where, there is no logical connection.

In the west they have a software called dragon software, whatever you speak it will transcribe. I also use sometimes for writing books. If your mind is connected to a dragon software how it will transcribe, transcribe the same way whatever goes on inside. With the same kind of grammatical errors or with the same accent or with same words or same pronunciation, even if it doesn’t make any sense just pen down. Suddenly you will see you are nothing but bunch of independent, illogical, unconnected and unclutched thoughts. You do not know why a particular thought is raising after a particular thought, there is no logical reason, just something arises and then next something else is arising, next something else is arising, thoughts are flowing, words are flowing.

When you are suddenly aware of your body and your existence, at those moments any thought which flows in front of you becomes your life, you start giving attention to it either to fulfill or to escape. Its like a projector light is there, any slide which is kept in front of the projector light is seen as a reality in the screen. One problem is in your inner space the projector light is not continuously ON, it just comes and goes, comes and goes. Whenever you are not aware of your existence, many time, even though your eyes are open, even though your body is moving, you will not be aware of your existence. You can see in your life, you will get into your car at your house, drive for 30 mins, only after you reached the office, park the car and come out of the car suddenly you will realize – Oh! I finished my driving, i reached my office. You have taken 200 decisions in that 30 mins, right, left, giving brake, stopping for signal, but you are not aware of your existence. That is why you don’t remember all these decisions you took and all these things happened in you. Those few moments the projector light was OFF. Any slide which was moving in front of it is not part of your life.

Again for no reason the light is ON, when you are aware that you exist, whatever thought moves in front of you, they become your part, they become your life. Understand, its a very subtle truth. Your life is totality of all the thoughts moving in front of you but unfortunately many time, many major decisions, thoughts, the life changing incidents happen when you are not aware. Its like the film which moves when the projector light was OFF, that also is part of your life. But, unfortunately you are not aware of the scenes, decisions, thoughts which went on, which contribute to your life, which are also part of your life, just because the light is OFF. Every single moment which passes in your life without you being aware of this moment, of your presence, is suffering. Either directly or indirectly it will add to suffering. Either directly you will invite or indirectly you will create a situation for the suffering. When you turn your car indicator it blinks, the same way your consciousness also blinks, you do not know when it is ON or OFF. If you just see the thought flow in front of you suddenly you will realize – Oh god, all these things are going on in me, then what is going on inside me, I myself do not know where I am heading, I myself do not know what is happening in me. Here, understand the above diagram, we will see more deeper and deeper truths.

First, I want all of you to understand, you are not aware of all the decisions, all the thoughts moving inside you, inspiring you to live the way in which you are living, inspiring you to think the way you are thinking, inspiring you to be the way you are. You are not aware but constantly we believe we are aware. This is the first illusion. Whenever I say this people get frightened, Oh god! already I have enough suffering now He is adding one more suffering, one more fear that I do not know where I am heading. Understand, I am not adding suffering, I am just helping you to experience, open up to the reality. One more thing opening up to the reality even though it feels like suffering in the initial level it will always lead you to the joy and bliss because ‘Sat’ which means ‘The Truth’ by its very nature is ‘Chit’ means ‘Power/Consciousness’ and ‘Ananda’ means ‘Bliss’. By its very nature, ‘Sat’ leads to ‘Chit’ and ‘Chit’ leads to ‘Ananda’. Even though in the initial level it feels like little more responsibility, little more load.

Now itself many of your minds would have decided “No, no, no, what He says may be right that I am not aware, but I can’t become aware of everything happening in front of me. Oh, living in the present moment, being aware of whatever is going on, that and all is not for me. I tried many times Swamiji, you don’t know how many techniques I tried.”  Understand, we are not that dumb as we think. We have huge possibility, huge potentiality. May be the right initiation has not happened. The right click has not happened. So, don’t close the file. No, no, no, I tried many times, you don’t know how many gurus I went to, how many techniques I have tried. There are many people like that. I call them professional seekers. Their profession is seeking. Anywhere, any board, any swami, any guru, any saint, any mahatma, anybody they will be there. Not for learning, just for judging. What is he teaching let me see. People come to me and ask me “I know everything Swamiji, just give me in essence what extra you can add to me“. I tell them “Sorry, I don’t know anything extra to add you, I can only remove something from you. What you think as knowledge I can remove that so that the truth can happen.” Please do not come to the decision “No, no, He is again I think going to teach living in the present moment. I know I tried many times, it doesn’t work out, if it works out in sometime it goes away“. No, I am not going to teach you living in the present moment. Because you are living, why should I teach. Even if you are suffering about past, you are suffering in the present. Even if you are worrying about your future, you are worrying in the present. So, you are in the present. I am not going to teach you to be in the present. All I am doing is trying to take away some ideas which you think as your mind.

The first truth is you are not aware of all the things which is happening in front of you. You do not remember your biography as it happened. You remember only as you want it. When people ask me many time I tell them, if your TPS (thought per second) comes down, you will have clarity about your past and future. Then they tell me “About past already I have clarity, why should I have clarity about my past by bringing my TPS down. Now itself I know my past“. No, please understand you don’t know your past, you don’t remember, recollect the past as it happened. You recollect only as you want it, not as it happened. Just a simple example, if you see the above diagram, your life was filled with different kinds of incidents – joy, suffering, guilt, pain, depression… different, different quality of incidents.  You do not look at the life as it is. Usually what you do…what we do. I use the word ‘WE’ because sometime people think the word ‘You’ means too condescending. Thats the reason I used ‘We’. The problem is in the public place you can neither use ‘We’ nor use ‘You’. If I say ‘You’, somebody feels condescending. If I use the word ‘We’, then they may say if you also have the same problem how can you teach me, that is the big problem. Anyhow I don’t have a better word, so I use the word ‘We’. What usually we do is some joy, some suffering, some guilt….this is our life, different thoughts, different experiences. Usually you collect only all the suffering related incidents and create a SHAFT, create a connecting idea and think your life is nothing but suffering as shown below.

Understand you collect the suffering, guilt, pain, depression, all these kinds of thoughts, connect them and you think your life is a long chain of suffering, your life is a pain shaft. I have seen people, the moment I ask how are you, where are you from, first thing everybody invariably starts ‘ You don’t know Swamiji, nobody has suffered anything like me in the life‘. This is a common introduction for their biography. Even my enemies should not suffer the amount of suffering I went through Swamiji. Even in suffering they want to be in the top, not second. And not only just telling this to Me, they believe this strongly. They forget the joyful incidents which happened in between, they collect only the negative things, connect them and create a shaft, I call this as a ‘PAIN Shaft’. Very rarely sometime you create a joy shaft as shown below, very rare not only in the number but also in the quality. You collect joyful incidents and create a joy shaft, you feel life is joy. But most of the time you collect all the painful memories and incidents and create an idea – life is pain. If you create the shaft – life is pain, the problem is that you will be just waiting for more and more painful incidents to be added. Anything you believe or you start believing , you collect more and more experiences and arguments to strengthen that belief. Once you believe life is a long pain shaft, that’s enough, you will be just waiting to pick up only painful incidents and elongate that shaft. You will never be able to remember or respect the joyful things happening in your life, you will continuously wait and go on adding to the shaft. You will  be meditating for pain. I have seen people just waiting to add and elongate the pain shaft. One important thing we need to understand, believing that life is a pain shaft – the continuous incidents of painful things or believing the life is a joy shaft – the continuous incidents of joyful things…the moment you believe life is a continuous happening of painful things, unconsciously you will try to strengthen the belief but consciously you will try to break the pain shaft.

The big problem is neither you can break the pain shaft nor you can add to the joy shaft because both shafts do not exist, it is just your memory.

The reality happening is this – different memories, incidents continuously flowing and that is also not connected logically. If you think your life is a big pain shaft, a chain of painful incidents. Then you will pick up only the painful things and add.

I have seen people carrying the memory, a very huge memory. The other day one guy came to me and asked “Swamiji, I am going to take divorce. Please bless me“. I said “Usually we bless only for marriage not for divorce, can you tell me the reason“. The other day I was reading one article, I don’t know how much it is true, 33% divorce rate in Banglore, India. I pray that it should not be true. In the west, 59% single homes and 47% of the people die without having a close friend or a relative to receive the body. Body is taken by professional undertakers. It is just too much. This guy came and asked me, I am going to divorce, please bless me.

I said ” first let us analyze why you are going to do, then we will try to sort out”.

He said “That and all you don’t know Swamiji, You just bless me.

“I cannot bless as you want. Only if I am convinced I can bless”.  And its not like I have it and you can take it. You can’t steal blessings fortunately.

He said the actual reason, the immediate cause was she brought coffee and it spilled on the cloth, that’s all.

“Don’t you see clearly that it is not enough reason for divorce. Why don’t realize, why don’t you understand”.

“You don’t know Swami, today she poured coffee tomorrow she will pour acid, you don’t know”. He actually said this to me.

“Why don’t you be little logical, why don’t be little truthful. How can you connect coffee and acid. Don’t you see the gap is too much. You are creating too much of ideas in your head”.

“No, no Swamiji, You don’t know last 10 years how much I suffered with her, you don’t know”.

Do not just create a pain shaft. Just come out with incidents then we can analyze and look into it. Don’t create a pain shaft. Pain shaft will stay only if you are unconscious. Your opinion about life as pain shaft or joy shaft will stay only if you are unconscious. Not when you are aware. I told him “Just come out. Incident by incident lets analyze”. He started telling me “Even when we were having a game during my marriage she scratched my hand with the nail“.  Now see the file he is carrying in his head. From there he started telling me all complaints. After 2, 3 minutes I said ‘Stop, stop, stop!‘. His complaints were much worse than police record. I said “I think you should not ask for divorce. She should ask“.

This is what we are doing continuously. Sometime about others, sometime about ourselves, but constantly we create a pain shaft or joy shaft. One important thing we forget neither we can break the pain shaft nor we can elongate the joy shaft because it does not exist. When some joy happens, just try to hold on to that experience, it won’t stay. Not only that try to reproduce the same ambiance, same people, same place, same temperature, everything same, you will not have the same joy.

Addiction means believing that joy or ecstasy came due to some object or person or situation and trying to reproduce the same thing again and again even though the same joy or experience doesn’t come back again.

Understand this is the definition of addiction. Trying to elongate the joy shaft by recreating or reproducing or again bringing the same persons or situations or incidents or the happenings in your life. If you try knowing that same joy is not coming is what i call addiction. Some people are addicted to partying, some people are addicted to smoking, some people are addicted to news paper reading especially the violent things. You don’t know how much of violence we are swallowing. The more and more violence you swallow you will become aware only if the violent pictures are moving in front of you. It means the projector light which is inside you, the awareness that you exist will come to life only when violent thoughts comes in front of you. Its like alarm clock. You tell yourself, I cherish these kind of thoughts so when those kind of thoughts are coming in front of my mind please wake me up. Its automatic alarm clock. If you are enjoying lustful thoughts and whenever lustful thoughts cross your system you come to the awareness that I exist. Same way if you are enjoying violence and whenever violent thoughts come in your system you will come to life that I exist. When you come to life that I exist, the thoughts will get strengthened and empowered. If you empower a particular thought again and again, when those thoughts cross your inner space you will come back to life. This is what I call as vicious circle. You empowering negativity and negativity bringing you back to life – this is the vicious circle. You empowering again more negativity and more negativity bringing to life and excitement. That is why if you start cherishing violence you don’t have to reach hell, you are in hell. Even if you reach you won’t find any difference. I am not talking about getting the information about life, some accident, some murder etc. These are all knowing about life, to be safe. That is not what I am talking about. Many time we enjoy violence, reading tabloids and seeing violent things in the media; especially reading tabloids, its called ‘selling violence’. The other day I was reading an article, very scientifically and statistically they say in a city if the boxing competition or fighting competitions happen, within 30 days the crime rate of the city goes up by 30 percent. You will be surprised, the same way in another study if a group of people meditate sitting in the center of the city within 30 days 67% of the city’s crime rate comes down. This study was done by leading organization teaching meditation – Maharshi Mahesh Yogi’s TM group, they have done this research in so many cities and proved it. Anyhow, see they can afford to have this boxing, this violent programs because they have a infrastructure to control the society, to manage the society. There is no county, there is no village without police station. If you just call 911 in USA within 3 minutes you will see a cop standing in front of your home to take care of you, to attend you. We can’t afford to copy or duplicate or bring the same violence in India’s society. India is running because of ‘Ramayana’ and ‘Mahabharata’, not by any law enforcement force. With all our infrastructure we can maintain only a small percentage of our country (India). Our country runs by eternal Cosmic constitution, we call it Sanatana Dharma. We can’t afford to break it. I want all our intellectuals to understand we can’t afford to break our dharma. We don’t have a replacing infrastructure to maintain the social balance if we are going to dump our dharma. We are swallowing too much of violence, too much of this tabloid ideas. If you see the people who read this weekly tabloids, you will see very low level consciousness. They will be constantly attracting accidents in their life, suffering in their life because they are just waiting for painful incidents, that gives them excitement. A beautiful example by Ramana Maharshi – A dog will try to bite the dry bone, biting, biting, biting, the bone will poke the mouth. From its own mouth the blood will come out and the dog will think blood is coming from the bone and enjoys that blood. Exactly the same thing happens in you when you swallow violence, when you eat violence, when you are digesting violence. Save yourself from violence, not just the physical violence but the psychological violence which is constantly getting added into the society, into our system by too many sources. If violence excites you, you will be waiting for that kind of incidents in your life. If pain excites you, if you believe life is pain shaft you will be waiting for that kind of incidents in your life and strengthen your belief.

This an important truth – the depression or low mood which you experienced 10 years ago, the depression or low mood which you experienced 9 years ago, the depression which you experienced 8 years ago, the depression which you experienced 1 year ago, they are all independent experiences happened in your life because of independent incidents. 10 years ago you would have been in depression because you don’t have son and 4 years ago you are in depression because you have a son. It is independent incidents causing independent experiences. But in the inner space for the sake of convenience you archive all the sufferings in one file. When you archive them in one file, by and by you start thinking by connecting all these depression experiences and come to an idea that my last 10 year life was depression, NO. All 10 different experiences happened due to different reason, different time and different experience but when you connect all of them and see, you come to an idea that last 10 years I was in depression. The moment you come to an idea I was in depression last 10 years, now you created an enemy who doesn’t exist. Now you start fighting with him. I have to come out of depression, what to do. The moment you create a ‘shaft’ that last 10 years you were in depression, now you know for sure next 10 years you are going to be in depression. You will say “Yes, last 10 years I was in depression then naturally tomorrow morning I am going to be in depression. How can I suddenly come out, how is it going to happen. I am going to be in depression“.  Passive agreement with your enemy. Please understand, first thing – you create an enemy who doesn’t exist,  second thing – you already made a passive agreement with your enemy, you won the game. Then how do you think you will not attract depression. You created a enemy who doesn’t exist and already have a passive agreement that you won the game and you come to Me and say “Swamiji, I am in depression, please do something“. My presence cannot help only your presence can help you. Your presence only can help you, nothing else can be done.

Same way the pain. People come and tell me “Swamiji, last 20 years I have knee pain“. NO, it cannot be. Please understand, it cannot be. I am not disrespecting you or adding more suffering to you by saying- all problems are in your head. No, I am not disrespecting you, I am just telling you the truth – ‘all problems are in your head’. Please understand, I am not disrespecting you by saying, I am just stating the truth. The knee pain which you experienced 2 years ago, the knee pain which you experienced 1 year ago, the knee pain which you experienced 2 months ago and the knee pain which you experienced 2 hours ago are independent experiences. When you connect them and see, you stopped the possibility of self healing. Whether you believe it or not medical science proves that your body constantly updates itself and replaces itself once in every 365 days. Even your brain cells are replaced once in 365 days. The intestine is replaced once in 47 days. Every organ is replaced within particular number of days. If you are carrying a particular disease for a quite long time it means you have a strong belief that it is a continuous shaft, it is a continuous experience. You are unconscious belief that something is a continuous experience forces your mind to bring the same pain and disease back. For example, once in 47 days your intestine gets replaced completely. If you are carrying any disease related to more than 47 days even the new system which you created you have created with a mental set up- I have this problem so I have to have this problem. Strong belief that you have this problem, naturally you will say this is not mine if a new intestine is given to you and ask for yours.

Have you heard the woodcutter story – One woodcutter was there, he was cutting a tree near the river and his axe fell in the water. One goddess appeared and she brought a golden axe and he said “this is not mine”.

Then she brought a silver axe, she asked “Is it your’s “, then he said ‘No’.

Then she brought his iron axe, then he said “yes, yes, this is mine”.

Then she is very pleased and handed all the 3.

Understand in that story it is Ok. There is a second version of this story, extended version. Same hunter was cutting the tree on the same river. He was being assisted by his wife and suddenly by mistake the wife fell in the river.

And the goddess appeared, brought a beautiful women, young and beautiful than his wife and asked “is she your wife ?”.

This guy said “Yes, yes, yes”.

Goddess got very annoyed and said “How dare you greedy fellow.

Last time with axe you told the truth but with wife you are telling the lie”.

He says “No, no. You don’t understand my problem. Last time you asked first gold, then silver, then my axe. When I said it is mine you gave all 3. Now again if you give 3 women to me what will I do. I know with one what suffering I am going through. That is the reason I took precautionary steps, I just wanted to stop with one. Anything is ok, but just send one, not second.”

Anyhow just like goddess is asking something better than what you have – “Is it your’s ?”, same way      every time the ParaShakti  is asking “Is this your new body?”. Parashakti is the self healing energy which resides in you, The Nature, your mother’s part. The energy which is inside your body and rejuvinates yourself is the part contributed to you by your mother. Its from your mother – Parashakti. Your mother is the representation of Cosmic Mother. So when Cosmic Mother comes and says is this your new intestine, you say ‘bring my old one’. Your mental setup is such we strongly believe that depression or disease is a ‘Shaft’ happening inside us. It is NOT. The depression you experienced 10 years ago, 9 years and 8 years ago are independent, unconnected incidents and experiences. When you connect all of them and see you created a pain shaft or depression shaft – My life is depression. Now you are ready to get defeated by the unknown non-existing enemy.

One important thing, this is a very basic truth – Neither you can break the shaft or nor you can elongate the shaft because the shaft doesn’t exist. All you can do is just be aware that it doesn’t exist. You created it. For the sake of convenience and easy reference you put all the depression incidents in one file and kept. By and by you started believing all of them are existentially connected. No, they are not existentially connected. The moment you believe all your depression is connected, you are a depressed being, the small, the small joyful things happened in between will be forgotten by you. You will not even remember them. That is what I am saying not having clear picture about past. If you have a clear picture about past, it will become a solid experience. It will not be a load, it will become a strength. Undigested past is a load, digested past is a strength. We don’t digest our past, it stays on us like a load, like a headache. Here when you connect all painful incidents and create a pain shaft, you create an enemy who doesn’t exist and start fighting with him. Understand I am repeating the words again and again because suddenly you might have changed the channel. For the sake of people who are tuning in just now. I am repeating so that it can enter into the system. Somebody asked Buddha, “Why are you repeating the same thing for 40 years ? “. He said “If you would have heard the first time, why do you think I would have repeated it second time“. The shaft doesn’t exist. Basically your thoughts are an independent, illogical, irresponsible. No two thoughts are responsible for other thoughts existence or disappearance. Illogical, independent, irresponsible, unconnected, unclutched thoughts. But you are afraid to live with such an undefined frame of mind. You are afraid to live with undefined mind. You trying to define is the first problem. Even with your spouse you live maximum 6 months. Within  6 months you create an idea about that person. After that you live with that idea of that person, not with the spouse. Anything the other person does you will look through that idea only. In 6 months you will come to an idea “Oh, this is the punishment given to me by GOD or I don’t have to go to hell after death“. You will see whatever he or she does through that scale or through that idea, through that glass. You don’t live with that person. You live with the concept. Same way about your mind, you have an idea, whether Pain shaft or Joy shaft. You live with that shaft not with experience.

One more thing, between every thought there is a gap. Its like a fish tank. Water bubbles are coming in a fish tank. Between every bubble there is a gap. Because the gap is too small you think it is a stream. It is not stream. Between every thought there is a gap. It is just independent, illogical thoughts moving. The problem is when you can’t live with that or you don’t want to live with that independent, illogical movements you create an idea – pain shaft and joy shaft, and struggle with it. You create an enemy who doesn’t exist and fight with that person. Now all you need to do is stop creating this pain shaft or joy shaft. Stop clutching all these painful incidents  or joyful things and creating a shaft. The essence of whatever I am talking is ‘stop clutching and creating a shaft’. That’s enough, you will see that suddenly the shaft disappears. Shaft doesn’t exist.

continued in …………………“Unclutching – De-program the inner self” (part 2)

4 thoughts on ““Unclutching – De-program the inner self” (part 1)

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