The stronger you hold on to an ideology or to a person, the deeper will be your depression. If you hold on to a person, say your boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife, your son or brother or father, you will be bound by the sway of the relationship, and you will invariably fall into depression and start blaming that person. This is how depression happens. In the same way, if you hang on to your ego or identity or ideology, again you will face depression.
When you face the depression due to the ideology or identity or ego, you start blaming the whole world because there is no second person to blame! You lose confidence in the whole world. You lose trust on the whole world. You don’t even know the reason for your depression, and you start blaming the whole world. Living with a strong ideology or strong identity is like being in the worst possible hell.
When you fall into this kind of depression, you will not have the intelligence to associate the depression with the identity that you created. You will not have the intelligence to realize that your identity is the cause for your depression. You will start suspecting everybody and blaming everybody. Even a simple incident will be enough for you to blame another person as the reason for your depression. That is the big problem with this ego-based identity.
You always think that if you don’t have a strong identity, others will cheat you. But understand that if others cheat you, they will cheat you at the most for a few hours. Whereas if you build a strong identity for yourself because of this, the very identity will cheat you for your whole life. It will be with you when you are in the waking state, dream state, and deep sleep state; and you will be blissfully unaware of it. So it is better to be cheated by others than to be cheated by your own identity.
Always remember one thing:
Do not suspect the master, suspect yourself. Suspect the identity that you are carrying. That’s the right thing to do.
In the beginning, you come to the master with love. When the master starts his operation on the tumor of your ego, suddenly the wheel turns and the love becomes hate, anger and resistance to the master. When the awareness happens, you realize the cunning play of the mind posing in different ways. Then you go beyond both love and hate. The relation deepens and there is no expectation of love or fear of hate. So if you are faced with anger, just have the patience. That point of transcendence will happen.
Understand, the fight is not between you and your mind. The fight is between your mind and the master. Whose side you are on is your choice. If you look a little deeper, you will see that the fight is because your mind knows that it is fighting a losing battle. So it tries all kinds of tricks to survive. This is the one battle where you win if you lose!
Being defeated by the master means defeating the false you by the true you. It is the ultimate victory over your self. You regain the kingdom of god, which your mind had stolen.
When you just jump in the presence of the master, when you enjoy and celebrate Existence in the presence of the master, when you celebrate his presence and your presence, when you just celebrate, things will simply start happening in you, nothing else. That is the answer, technology, method and solution for the true master-disciple relation to happen.
When you can’t understand that, then I have to talk, reply to all your questions, create more and more problems, that’s all. If I answer your questions, what will happen? You will ask, how to do that? What is the technique? Then I have to give one more technique to do that technique. Then, how to do that technique…? It will simply go on.
Questions only generate further questions. That is why philosophy has not been able to answer any question completely. Questions can never be answered. The solution is to go beyond the plane of questions. Then there are no more questions, they simply dissolve and disappear.
Bhakti or the feeling of being connected to the master is such an ultimate happening, never miss it if at all you have got the opportunity in your life
Just sing and dance and celebrate the presence of the master. Then all these doubts, questions and everything will simply disappear.
If you have the doubt and questions, you can’t celebrate. Celebration and doubt are just anti, opposite to each other. If you celebrate, questions and doubts will disappear. Don’t wait for the doubts to disappear and then celebrate. It will never happen. Just celebrate and the questions will disappear.
Ramakrishna Paramahamsa beautifully says, ‘If you sit under a tree and clap, all the birds on the tree will fly away.’ In the same way, just dance, all the engrams in your body will fly away and disappear! All the doubts that are sitting inside your body will just fly and disappear. So jump in such a high speed that all the birds will fly and disappear and will never think of coming back. Even after the birds fly away their nests may remain in place. Jump in such a way all the nests should also drop! Whatever is inside, everything should just drop and disappear.
For you to grow, I have to hit at your ego. But be very clear, I never push you away from me. I only pull you towards me. So even if you fall, you will fall only on me. Two things can happen when I hit: you can catch the truth or if you miss, you will just fall in my lap.
Understand one thing: when I hit, just welcome it. Don’t dodge. Don’t resist. It is not the hit that hurts you but the resistance.
A small story:
Once a man fell down from the fifth floor of a building. When he hit the ground, he was in a state of shock. Somebody asked him out of concern, ‘Did it hurt?’
The man replied, ‘The fall did not hurt. Only the stopping of the fall hurt!’
In the same way, it is not the hit that hurts. When you realize it is not a hit, but a blessing out of sheer compassion for you to grow, you will realize the beauty of it and welcome it even more.
Once the connection with the master happens, he does not need to give you anything and you do not need to take anything from him. There will be no giver and no taker.
Because an explosion would have suddenly happened, merging the giver and the taker into one. I always tell people, bhakti or the feeling of being connected to the master is such an ultimate happening, never miss it if at all you have got the opportunity in your life. Never miss it. It is too costly to miss. It is such a deep happening, the ultimate blessing. Never miss it if at all you get the chance.
If you feel that the constant feeling of being connected has happened in you, do not let it go at any cost. Throw away any idea that comes between you and him. Anything can be lost but not the connection with master because if that one relationship is kept alive so many things can happen in you. The possibilities are infinite and all the doors are open. I can give you one small scale to measure if you are open or not.
If you can notice very clearly that your TPS, thoughts per second, is slowing down the moment the master enters your inner space, it means that you are open.
source: Living Enlightenment