Everyone has his or her own set of worries! If I ask you what you worry about, you will tell me, ‘I don’t have a job, that’s my worry.’ Your neighbor will say, ‘My job is my main worry!’ Someone else will say, ‘My children are my worry.’ Another person will say, ‘I don’t have children, that’s my worry!’ One person’s dream is another person’s worry! You will not find any logic in it at all.
What is meant by ‘worry’? Worry arises whenever things are not happening as you want them to happen. It is the discrepancy between your expectations and reality. For example, you feel your son should stay at home with you, whereas he feels he should be by himself, away from you. You feel your salary should be a few thousand dollars more. Your boss feels otherwise. You want to finish your project by a certain time. But things are happening too slowly and it seems an impossible task. These are all causes for worry. What you want and expect does not match what others want and expect.
You continuously expect things to happen in a certain way. Whether it is as big as your career or as small as what time your husband should come home for a meal, you continuously impose your will upon what is happening and worry about it.
Worry takes root from your own thoughts or words. There are two things that continuously happen in you. The first is dialogue, and the second is monologue or what I call is ‘inner chatter’. You either talk to people outside or you continuously chatter within you. In any case, words and thoughts are the ‘building blocks’ that make up worry. When you speak to others, what you say is strictly governed by societal rules. You automatically don’t use prohibited or ‘politically incorrect’ words. But what you say inside yourself, no one except you knows. The thoughts that you generate inside constitute your real worries. Continue reading →