Mohandas Pai: Swamiji, why is there conflict in families between 2 people. Between spouses, why do people break up, don’t live happily, how to handle conflict and what causes this conflict?
Swamiji: Basically, you keep somebody as part of your cognition, but you are not ready to take the responsibility for how they expect you. See when….for example when you visualize….when somebody visualizes their joy, if they do not keep their spouse and children in that joy frame, then they don’t have to be responsible. If they visualize fear, in that fear frame if something happening to their child, their spouse, is not there in that frame, then he doesn’t need to bother about what they think about him or how they hold him. When your joy frame, greed frame, life frames, has all of them as part of it, then we are responsible for how they hold us, what we stand for them, what is our commitments and relationships, what is our understandings and said-unsaid agreements. Not leaving any grey area, with the people who are in your life frame, is relationship.
Mohandas Pai: But Swamiji, this is very fascinating. Then, how do we relate to the rest of society? Continue reading “Why do people break up, don’t live happily ?”
Mohandas Pai: Swamiji, you know all of us want power in our lives, we want control, we want wealth, we want people to listen to us and this need for power in all human beings, is the root cause of much conflict, because this power is exhilarating, how do we overcome this need for power within our souls, within our body, within our lives? Sri Nithyananda Swamiji: See first, when we are not able to handle our self, control our self, when we are not able to come to relationship with our self, we are trying to do this to … Continue reading How do we overcome this need for power within our souls, within our body, within our lives?
Newly married you just jump on each other thinking that the other person is going to fulfill you, complete you…..“happily lived ever after”….. Maybe you can use that statement on your tomb: “Happily lived ever after”! See, “happily lived ever after” appearing as a scrolling, and then the couple holding hands together and walking, this eternal scene is almost international! All Hollywood, Kollywood, Bollywood, Sandalwood, whatever “wood” it may be, this scene is the eternal scene, this is the end scene: “happily lived ever after”! That is one of the biggest hopes human-beings think, that the other person will complete … Continue reading Happily lived ever after !
Completion is not apologizing. Completion is not complaining. Completion is not begging. Completion is not becoming weak. Completion is not tolerating atrocities others do. Completion is not putting up with all stupidity of others. Completion is not putting up with others’ powerlessness. Completion is not letting others do whatever the want. Completion is not being irresponsible. Completion is not withdrawing. Completion is not escaping. Completion is not missing the Life. Completion is you feeling powerful, friendly, fulfilling. Completion is feeling complete with the other person as per the other persons’ place and space. Completion is seeing reality in you and … Continue reading Completion is not…
Just now I used both words in the same meaning. But in order to define both words deeply, in Sanskrit we have a word – “Kaivalya”; means, “aloneness”. “Loneliness” is, you want to have somebody to escape from you and your incompletions; that is “loneliness”. Even if you have the other person or not, you will be lonely. “Aloneness” is, you are so complete, so fulfilled, so powerful, you don’t need anybody to complete you, make you powerful, that is “aloneness”, whether you have the other person or not. Whether you have the other person or not, if you are … Continue reading “Loneliness” and “Aloneness”
Understand, again, “Trust” is from the powerful space with the clarity of what you are. Only with the clarity of what you are, “Trust” happens. “False Hopes” is you not trying to understand what you are, you not trying to understand what the other person is, is “False Hopes”. Understand, when you understand who you are, what you feel as you inside, how you show you to others outside, how others perceive you, and how you perceive the world, if all these four are aligned, you know you. When you know you, whatever you feel is “Trust”. When you don’t … Continue reading “Trust” vs “False Hopes”
Please understand, both are wrong! Trying to improve the other, means, constant resistance. Accepting the others as they are, means, non-caring laziness. Both are wrong! Be very clear, the other person is not one! Look into that person. All the Completion space that person carries, accept it as it is. Imbibe, imbibe so much that you feel one with it. All the powerlessness, even if it helps you to keep the other person under your control, don’t keep that alive; it is not good for you for a long term. Help that person to complete with that. Even if you … Continue reading People ask me to define “trying to improve others” vs “accepting the others as they are”.
Please understand, if you constantly think from incompletion, powerlessness, and can constantly be thinking what all can go wrong, and trying to control only that, stop only that “what all can go wrong”, that is “Commitment”. “Responsibility” means, thinking from the powerful space “what all can go right”, and making that happen, working for that. “Responsibility” is working for what all can go right. “Commitment” is stopping, working to stop what all can go wrong. Commitment is “crisis management mood”, Responsibility is “creation mood”. In a relationship, “Responsibility” means, constantly raising it to the next, next, next levels of Completion; … Continue reading People ask, ‘Commitment vs Responsibility in a relationship, Swamiji, please define?’
Ask me this question, because I am seeing tons and tons “devoted”, and thousands and thousands “attached”! In “devotion”, you try to experience my space of Completion. In “attachment”, you try your best to pull me down to your level of incompletion. If you expect me to act in the same pattern you wanted, it is “attachment”. If you evolve in the space I am living and radiating, it is “devotion”. That is all! Very simple definition! Continue reading What is the difference between “devotion” and “attachment”?
When you give the same space you wanted to the other person from the understanding of Oneness, when your beings experience the same reality, it is “Love”.When your bodies try to experience the same reality by exchange of muscle-memory and the physical touch, it is “Lust”. When your minds try to exchange the bio-memories and experience Oneness, it is “Passion”. Please understand, when your beings try to experience Oneness, it is “Love”. When your emotions, interests, try to experience Oneness, that is “Passion”. When your bodies try to experience Oneness, it is “Lust”. All the three is nothing but trying to … Continue reading People ask me many times, ‘Swamiji, define Love vs Lust vs Passion.’
The best way is, educate them with the simple ideas how the friendliness strengthens them again and again. Do not add your selfishness into their being. Do not add your self-centred incompletions into their thinking part. Teach them to be powerful and complete. Teach them the joy of Completion. Teach them to relate from the space of powerfulness. Bring them to the eN-Genius program. We will teach them. We will give them the experience of powerfulness, relating from the space of Completion, and healthy relationships. Continue reading What is the best way to teach children about healthy relationships?
This is very important! Please listen! Understand, you are nothing but a bunch of your patterns, past experiences. Same way, the other person also is nothing but a bunch of patterns, past experiences, mainly incompletions. Remember, whatever leads you to incompletion will be leading the other person also into incompletion. Remember, never to retain the other person in your life through incompletions. No! Trying to have the other person in your life through incompletions is psychological slavery. Most of the time, because you are dependent on the other person, you make the other person dependent on you subtly. When you … Continue reading ‘How to use love and the relationship as a gateway to enlightenment and higher consciousness?