How do I know if a person is right for me as a partner?

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Listen! This is a very important question. How you carry the person in your inner-space: When you remember that person all by yourself, does he make you feel powerful? Does he complete you and make you feel more and more authentic? Please understand, I am not asking does he make you feel excited? Does he make you feel good? Does he make you feel enthusiastic? No! I am not asking you all those questions! Does he fulfil? Does he make you feel powerful? Does he or she make you feel complete? When you remember the person all by yourself, sitting alone, how you feel about him, what is in him or her that completes you, makes you powerful, what is that in him or in her that makes you experience the Oneness? Look in.

Anybody who makes you experience the Oneness, feeling of non-duality, anybody who makes you feel powerful, completes you, helps you go beyond all your incompletions, powerlessness, really makes you experience powerfulness, is the right person for you.

You need to spend a little time with yourself and that person to see the way you experience Completion with you and Completion with him. If that person is able to bring Completion in your life, you are able to bring Completion in his life or her life, or both of you are able to see each others’ possibility, then the person is right for you.

How can I trust people? What if they take advantage of me? How do I start trusting after I have been hurt by others?

First thing, as long as you have some business understanding bargain, do not call that as “trust”. If you have been hurt, it must be in bargains, never in trust. Trust is a pure powerfulness to experience about you, and the surety, certainty, guarantee you experience about others just by the way of Oneness, not by the way of their words or commitments, the way they talk to you; it is the way they make you feel about you and them. Understand, the way they carry their being into you and they carry you into them. “Trust” is surety given by the being, not by the words; honest to the being, not to any words. So, if you have been hurt, be very clear, earlier you might have had bargaining relationship, not trust. So, do not call bargaining relationship, business relationships, as trust, and lose the ability to trust anybody. It is a very, very, very serious miss you will do in your life! No! That will be a very costly mistake!

And same way, don’t call your irresponsibility to gauge the other person as “you trusting and they taking advantage”. Most of the time, you complain about the other person that they took advantage of you. But if you look back, you were irresponsible in gauging them! You were irresponsible, that is the truth! Don’t cover up your irresponsibility, saying, ‘I trusted them!’ Did they give you word? Did they give you commitment? And even when they committed are they whole, complete? Was their whole being committed, or only one part of them committed? Or do they have the capacity to hold their words and commitments? Is he a matured man, integrated being, who has the capacity to stand by his commitment? You need to look into all that. You are responsible! Look into that! You cannot say your irresponsibility can be justified. You just blame others that they took advantage of you. Most of the time people blame others that they took advantage of them because of their own irresponsibility. At least be very clear, YOU were irresponsible in that relationship, so that you will retain the ability to trust the next person in your life responsibly. If you give a wrong word, saying, ‘I trusted, and they took advantage of me!’, you will lose the capacity to trust. This is one of the important dimensions of life which should never be lost.

Someone I love is not communicating with me. I have tried many times. How do I get them to talk to me?’

Listen! First thing, the other person not communicating with you is nothing but he has closed the doors on you. At those moments, trying more and more times may lead to more and more incompletion. There are only two things which can heal deep wounded incompletions, deep wounds in relationships: One is “time”; another one is “friendliness”. Without communicating you can continue to carry friendliness towards the person, understand? Whether you understand it or not, believe it or not, ultimately, as truth, all of us are connected through this unifying consciousness. So, when you carry friendliness, the other person will automatically respond, start reacting even if you are not trying to communicate with that person. So, wait, complete with yourself, allow time to heal; and the power of your Completion, the way you carry the friendliness will simply make the other person communicate with you, relate with you. Please understand, I am not talking something like miracle or taking a chance; I am talking about a science!

How can I heal my broken relationship with my wife, husband, sibling, son, daughter?

Listen! This is a straight answer I am giving you! Decide, however difficult it may look in the initial level, decide to have Completion with yourself and Completion with all the relationships in your life. Look in, how “The World”, the actual happenings, facts, have been twisted, manipulated, interpreted by the “My World” happenings. Listen! Just see how “The World”, the real factual happenings were interpreted, manipulated in your world and do this like an exercise. Sit and look in how the relationship with your spouse, with your sibling, with your son, with your daughter, started getting incomplete, started getting broken. Look into those incompletions and pen down, intranalyze, whether it is because of the fact or because of your interpretations. I can very clearly tell, mostly, in a way, almost always it is because of your interpretations. Have enough intelligence and patience to look into your interpretations and how many times it is proved your interpretation is wrong, how you hold them up, look in, and complete with that. Complete with that! Complete with that! And sit and openly talk to your spouse, sibling, son or daughter, with whomever you have broken relationships. Sit and openly have a discussion with them, talk to them. That is the only way you can heal the broken relationships, you can complete.

What is true love, and how do you experience it in your life?

True love is the experience, the way, method through which you connect with everyone with the basic cognition of Oneness. Please understand, the basic truth about life is Oneness. The vast energy field where all of us experience that Oneness, having that Oneness as a basic cognition, the way you relate with everyone, is “true love”.

“Fulfilling relationship” means, every relationship which reminds you again and again and gives you the experience of that Oneness, is “fulfilling relationship”. The person may be near you, far away from you, he may be your spouse, he or she may be your friend, whatever title, name you may give, as long as that being brings you to the powerful space and reminds you, makes you experience Oneness, it is “fulfilling relationship”.

True love is again and again reminding you of the space of Oneness, the unifying field of consciousness, and any thought, action, word, which comes from that experience of Oneness towards anybody, anything, is “true love”. Remember the basic truths about life of Oneness, you will naturally experience true love in your life.

  • Money is the vision you are going to carry on how you are going to sell your time.
  • All your past life patterns are directly related to the relationships you are cherishing and entertaining in present life and the incompletions you are cherishing and entertaining in present life.

 

Completion with life is eternal love!

Experience of Completion is, it will give you the feeling it is enough for you to live your whole life. Completion has the capability of giving you the feeling it is enough for you to live your whole life.

If you have really, really fallen in love in your young age – not after seventy – if you have really, really, really fallen in love at the right age in your life, you will have that feeling-this love is enough for you to live your whole life. You won’t even bother about your basic needs! That’s why, in all movies, they show this sentiment of “Let’s elope and run away! Nothing else is required for our life. You are there for me, I am there for you!” But, you cannot eat one another! You can’t eat each other, you need food! But, you don’t care for anything else, because at that moment actually you feel the other person’s love is enough, because the other person’s love completes you and that is enough for you to live!

Completion with life is eternal love! Please understand, with anybody you feel complete, don’t think the person is completing you. Your Completion is making that person beautiful. If you see somebody and you are in love and you feel complete, be very clear that person has no role in your Completion experience. Because of your Completion, the person looks more greener than the green itself, more rosier than the rose itself, more beautiful than the beauty itself!

Love is a flower that blossoms deep within your being and sends out a sweet fragrance that we share with others.

Love is the poetry that connects you back to the existence.

Love is the sword that slays the ego and merges you with the ocean.

Love feels the joy of just being.

Love is the ultimate experience of a human being.

Love is an intense experience in one’s inner space.

Love gives you tremendous awareness.

Love is experiencing life moment to moment, in its totality.

Love is the root of all religions.

Love sows the seeds of joy and unity in you. 

Love by its very nature is transforming.

Love softens and melts you.

Love is nothing but the quality of Existence.

Love is your inner potential.

Love is just oneness with everyone and everything.

Love is an energy that happens in us because of our own very nature.

Love is like a communion which doesn’t need any expression or communication.

Love operates on sheer trust.

Love is beyond space and time.

Love makes everything unique.

Love is love for the sake of love, not for the sake of other person or thing.

Love is a causeless overflowing energy which is always total in its expression.

Why is listening so important to people?

Communication

Because listening is attention, and attention is energy! When you genuinely listen to someone, you not only boost their self worth, but also their energy levels! This is why people feel so fulfilled when someone listens to them. If you listen closely when somebody is sharing, especially if they are sharing a problem, you will see that almost always, what they are looking for is understanding and empathy, not your solutions for their problems. It is also a commonly held notion that one has to be loud and heard to be noticed and to progress in society. In fact true power may lie in the ability to be silent and truly listen as this brings real insight into the needs and how we can best interact with the other.

Listening has become a lost art. Although we are taught the communication tools of reading, writing and verbalizing from childhood, the art of active and empathetic listening is often overlooked. Research suggests that people accurately comprehend and recall approximately 50% of what they hear. Within the next forty eight hours, most forget half of the retained information, hence leaving a mere 25% of what was initially heard. Why is listening so hard? Most of the time, and especially in the midst of disagreements, we are busy formulating our own opinion and thinking about what we are going to say. This prevents us from actually hearing what is being said. In addition, emotions such as anger and certain words may trigger thought patterns that can cause our mind to be distracted and wander. As a consequence, we hear what we want to hear and don’t hear what we don’t want to hear.

Only when we are externally silent and have quietened our inner chatter can true listening happen. This creates the space for a deep understanding of what the other person really wants to communicate. The inability to set aside the urge to voice our emotions and opinions and listen without judgment is a major cause for misunderstandings and disagreements. The complaint that family, employers and others are not listening to us is commonplace in today’s society, and may be a major factor in the popularity of therapy, where one feels one is being listened to. Studies show that true leadership is linked to the ability to effectively listen to those around you. Practice the art of listening in your life. Observe the tendencies we have to formulate our responses without really listening to the other, and see what new understandings and closeness it can bring with those in your life.

A glimpse of love makes you expand more and more in love.

Take responsibility for love, that is where a relationships starts. If you fulfill others expectations and they also fulfill your expectations, then that is business, not love. Love is beyond business. Love creates life in you. A glimpse of love makes you expand more and more in love. When you take responsibility for a person with the context that you will fulfill their expectations, irrespective of whether they fulfill your expectations or not, then you can experience, happiness, peace and completion in your life. I have a question with me :- If the others expectations limits me, even then should I fulfill their expectations? Answer is : Even then fulfill their expectation and then make them understand that their expectation is limiting you. In-authenticity shrinks you. Only with authenticity, integrity and responsibility you can experience true love and expand. When you are authentic, you can relate with anyone who comes near you with spontaneity. When you respond being in completion, then that leads to more completion. Authenticity means you fulfilling the expectation you have about you, and the expectation others have about you in a complete way. It is more difficult to fulfill yourself than fulfilling others.