All of you, understand, your aggression, agitation, that is responsible for the other person’s aggression or agitation. If you master your eyes never to overflow – means, tears not to come out – you can master and keep the ocean without overflowing! Please listen! If you can master your eyes never to overflow, you can master the ocean and control it never to overflow. It means, the energy which makes your eyes overflow, and the energy which makes the ocean overflow, both are one and the same! Both are one and the same!
It seems, yesterday, one of our gurukul kids asked his mother, ‘Mom, tell me what is Advaitha Sathya?’
I wanted to answer that kid.
“UNDERSTANDING THAT WHAT YOU EXPERIENCE AS YOU IS THE SAME STUFF EXPERIENCED AS THEM BY EVERYTHING THAT EXISTS” is Advaitha Sathya.
What you experience as you in the deepest corner of you when you are listening to you, not when you are talking to you, but when you are listening to you, what you feel as you. Remove the patterns, remove the thought patterns, remove the root patterns; all this is your aggression towards you. Thought pattern is the speaker, root pattern is the mike. If you remove all that, IN YOUR PURE LISTENING WHAT YOU EXPERIENCE AS YOU, THAT SAME ONLY IS EXPERIENCED AS THEM BY EVERY BEING EXISTING, that is Advaitha Sathya.
Even your worst enemy whom you don’t like, whom you can’t stand, even he experiences the same stuff as you. So, all your fight is your own one hand fighting with your own other hand, your own one part fighting with your own other part. Including the war I am waging! May be this whole drama is happening, or I am doing it just to prove a point how the power of Advaitha Sathya wins, how Advaitha Sathya, the power of an enlightened being can never be shaken or disturbed by any number of conspiracies. May be there is a reason. But all, all, all the wars you are waging is only one part of you waging with the other part. Same way, all desires you have is your own one part having desire for the other part. It is like your own one hand, if you have brought it to your cheek and you are wiping it, that is all is all attachment. Your fight: your own one hand hates that part of the cheek and punching it.
But, “the pain” and “the pained” is one and the same; the “desire” and the “desired” is one and the same. The person who desires, the desire itself, and the object which is desired is one and the same. Understand, “IN THE PURE LISTENING WHAT YOU EXPERIENCE AS YOU IS THE SAME STUFF EVERY BEING IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE EXPERIENCES AS ITSELF”, is Advaitha Sathya.
By your very nature, your consciousness, your existence is immortal. It cannot get destroyed. It cannot lose any of its glory. It cannot lose any of its attributes, powers. It can neither be damaged nor be destroyed. Even if you carry the desperate fear, anxiety, anger, even your desperation cannot make your consciousness lose its glory, its existence, its immortality. But, unfortunately, when you start believing that you are mortal, you can be disturbed, you can be damaged, you can be harassed, you can be abused, you can be killed, you can lose some of your original qualities, physically or psychologically, when this belief settles in your system, that survival instinct, the instinct to protect yourself which becomes the basic root cognition of you, the survival instinct which is awakened in you, please listen, that is the first aggression in your system, primary aggression.
Primary aggression goes on speaking, never listening. It goes on acts, never receives. The primary aggression that you have to do something to save yourself, protect yourself, Oh God, that is the biggest joke, tamasha. The frightened child thinks he needs to protect the whole world which cannot be destroyed. In this whole situation, there is only one thing that can be destroyed, that is the frightened child. But the child is so intelligent, he doesn’t say he is waging the war to protect himself, he says he is waging the war to protect the whole world which is not going to be destroyed! He doesn’t want to believe…..
Please listen! The frightened child, he wants to protect himself; but if he says openly that he wants to protect himself, that looks too cheap, too selfish. So he wants to look good to the onlooker. So he says, ‘No, no, I am waging the war to protect the whole world!’ Fool! The world is not going to be destroyed! Only you are going to be destroyed! Same way, your consciousness, YOU, you are immortal; but your agitated, desperate mind goes on telling you and everyone that it is fighting continuously to save your consciousness, to save you, to protect you. In you, only one thing can be killed; that is your desperation – your desperate mind, your agitation, and your aggression. Other than that, nothing needs to be killed, nothing can be killed! Nothing needs to be killed, nothing can be killed.
Please listen! The desperation, the idea you need to defend something, protect something, that aggression, because of that aggression in your inner-space, you go on being active. Please understand, aggression in your inner-space is you talking to you. Receptivity in your inner-space is you listening to you. I can just define two of the major principles in one line.
You talking to you is always incompletion.
You listening to you is always Completion.
That’s all! “You talking to you” means, are you associating yourself with the dimension which is talking to you, or the dimension which is listening to you. As on now, both actions are happening. Your inner-space is like Mahabharata war-field. That is why….. Listen! Listen! Duryodhana all the time shouting, aggressive; Pandavas always ready to listen; both are there in you. Whenever you associate yourself with Duryodhana – aggression – talking, talking, talking to you, you will be in the space of incompletion. Whenever you associate yourself with the listening component of you, listening, listening, listening, you get into the space of Completion. Whenever you are in the space of Completion, the consciousness in you stops the aggressive guy talking and he relates with you. That is why Krishna, whenever he wants to talk, he stops the whole war and Time! Whether he wants to talk to Arjuna, or he wants to talk to Bhishma, or he wants to talk to Drona, or he wants to talk to Karna, he stops Time and the war! The aggression cannot be talking while the listening is intensely listening.
Listen! Whenever you associate yourself with the listening, don’t ever have the fear the aggression part is going to be speaking to you and you are going to be listening to it. No! Whenever you get into the space of listening, the Lord will speak to you, Bhagawan will speak to you, Mahadeva speaks to you, the Advaitha Sathya, the truth of Advaitha speaks to you.
न जायते म्रियते वा कदाचित्
ज्ञायं भूत्वा भविता वा न भूयः |
अजो नित्यः शाश्वतोऽयं पुराणो
न हन्यते हन्यमाने शरीरे ||
Na jaayathey mriyathey vaa kadhaachith
Jnaayam bhoothvaa bhavithaa vaa na bhooyaha |
Ajo nithyaha shaashvathoyam puraano
Na hanyathey hanyamaaney shareerey ||
“It is not born, nor does it die;
It is not that having been non-existent it comes into existence;
It is unborn, eternal, ancient and ever-lasting;
Though associated with the body, it does not get killed even when the body is killed.”
– Second Chapter, twentieth verse of the Bhagavadgita.
Please understand, I am quoting the Bhagavadgita not because these lines are just Krishna’s experience, but because these lines are my own experience too! I am not trying to hide myself behind Krishna’s authority. I am declaring these words are true. Reason one: Krishna said it. Reason two: My experience. Understand, it is not only Krishna’s authority, but my own authenticity. Both stand for these words’ truth. Both stand to prove these verses are true.
Completion is not apologizing.
Completion is not complaining.
Completion is not begging.
Completion is not becoming weak.
Completion is not tolerating atrocities others do.
Completion is not putting up with all stupidity of others.
Completion is not putting up with others’ powerlessness.
Completion is not letting others do whatever the want.
Completion is not being irresponsible.
Completion is not withdrawing.
Completion is not escaping.
Completion is not missing the Life.
Completion is you feeling powerful, friendly, fulfilling.
Completion is feeling complete with the other person as per the other persons’ place and space.
Completion is seeing reality in you and awakening reality in others.
Now I wanted to give you the meditation process to experientially flower in true love, in relationships.
The first step: Look in and pen down –
• What you feel about you when you are with that person with whom you are in love,
• What you feel about you when you are not with that person with whom you are in relationship, and
• How you show you to that person. Pen down all these.
• How that person perceives you, and
• How you perceive that person.
Pen down all these five points independently. And look in, what are the conflicts and incompletions between these five answers. Look in, when you started developing those incompletions in you.
I will repeat the instruction.
• What you feel about you when you are with that person? – First question.
• What do you feel about you when you are away from that person? – Second question.
• How you show you to that person? – Third question.
• How that person perceives you? – Fourth question.
• How you perceive that person? – Fifth question.
See all these five questions are answered authentically, and sit and see in these five answers wherever the conflicts, contradictions, incompletions are there, pen them down, and look back how you developed those incompletions, and re-live those incompletions within you. Re-live again and again, and relieve.
Let me elaborate instructions on incompletion. When I say “incompletion”, the conflicts, contradictions you have, contradictions, conflicts, how you feel about you, but how you project you to that person. You don’t need to project you to that person in the same way you feel about you, because what you feel about you itself is not completely true. So, I am not asking you to just project you to that person as you feel about you. No! I am saying, first of all, complete even the way you feel about you. Bring Completion into that. There are a lot of incompletions, factual errors, the way you feel about you. Re-live all the incompletion memories, the way you feel about you, and relieve. And, let all these five be aligned to each other – the way you feel about you when you are alone, the way you feel about you when you are with him or her, the way you project you to the other person, the way the other person understands you, and the way you understand the other person. Let all these five be brought to Completion, to sync to Oneness. Whatever contradictions, incompletions you have in these five answers, dig out how these incompletions came in your system, what are the patterns, incidents, when you developed these incompletions in you. Go back to your memories. See why, when, how you developed these incompletions, contradictions, conflicts. Re-live those incidents, and relieve those incompletions. Bring Completion within you, then sit with the other person, help the other person to come to the space of Completion with you. That is what is “completing with the other person”.
Please understand, this meditation process has to be done together. First, you bring yourself to Completion, and help the other person to bring Completion. Both of you sit together and bring both of you to Completion.
I can give you example of this non-alignment between these five. When you are alone without that person, you may be feeling frightened, shivering, victim mentality; but you may be showing to the other person that you are very courageous, confident. I am not saying you need to show yourself to that person as a victim, frightened. No! Complete with that victim mentality, frightened mentality, fear mentality. Bring Completion into you. Show yourself as a complete being. Take responsibility for what he feels about you, and decide to have a right possibility and Completion with him. This is what I say, this is what I mean when I say “aligning”. Wherever you feel you are stuck, you are feeling the non-alignment, dig deep why this pattern started growing in you, when you started growing this pattern in you. Remember those incidents and pen down. Re-live them and relieve them till those patterns and incidents lose power over your cognition. Do this exercise at least eleven days with the other person.
Sometimes you may say, ‘What if the other person does not want to do, talk to me, or do this Completion, and does not believe in it?’ Don’t worry, you are capable enough to bring Completion in the other person. Completion is the one process you can do for the other person, because it is based, rooted on the experience of Oneness. You do this process for eleven days and bring Completion in you. You will see, the other person simply recognizes the space of Completion you are carrying, the other person simply responds to the space of Completion you are carrying, and the Oneness is awakened in the other person also. I am not talking about some theory; it is a science!
When you bring Completion in you, you will awaken Completion in the other person!
Just now I used both words in the same meaning. But in order to define both words deeply, in Sanskrit we have a word – “Kaivalya”; means, “aloneness”. “Loneliness” is, you want to have somebody to escape from you and your incompletions; that is “loneliness”. Even if you have the other person or not, you will be lonely. “Aloneness” is, you are so complete, so fulfilled, so powerful, you don’t need anybody to complete you, make you powerful, that is “aloneness”, whether you have the other person or not. Whether you have the other person or not, if you are complete with yourself, you are “alone”. Whether you have the other person or not, if you are incomplete with yourself, you are “lonely”. “Lonely” people attract slavery, abusive relationships. “Alone” people attract joyful, completing relationships, where not only they are complete, they complete the other person also.
Understand, again, “Trust” is from the powerful space with the clarity of what you are. Only with the clarity of what you are, “Trust” happens. “False Hopes” is you not trying to understand what you are, you not trying to understand what the other person is, is “False Hopes”.
Understand, when you understand who you are, what you feel as you inside, how you show you to others outside, how others perceive you, and how you perceive the world, if all these four are aligned, you know you. When you know you, whatever you feel is “Trust”. When you don’t know you, whatever you feel is “False Hope”. When you know you, whatever you feel about you and others is “Trust”. When you don’t know you, whatever you feel about you and others is “False Hopes”. Whatever you feel, whether it is “Trust” or “False Hopes” depends on whether you know you.
Please understand, both are wrong!
Trying to improve the other, means, constant resistance. Accepting the others as they are, means, non-caring laziness. Both are wrong!
Be very clear, the other person is not one! Look into that person. All the Completion space that person carries, accept it as it is. Imbibe, imbibe so much that you feel one with it. All the powerlessness, even if it helps you to keep the other person under your control, don’t keep that alive; it is not good for you for a long term. Help that person to complete with that. Even if you know if that person completes from that incompletion he will leave you, help the person complete. He may leave you, but he will be living with you! He may not be able to stop living with you! I have seen so many people leaving me, but they can never stop living with me.
I tell you, the other person is not one!
That is an important understanding you need to have! Neither trying to improve the others, nor accepting the others as they are, is right. Try to complete the other person wherever he or she has the incompletions; accept the other person as they are wherever they have Completion.
Please understand, if you constantly think from incompletion, powerlessness, and can constantly be thinking what all can go wrong, and trying to control only that, stop only that “what all can go wrong”, that is “Commitment”. “Responsibility” means, thinking from the powerful space “what all can go right”, and making that happen, working for that. “Responsibility” is working for what all can go right. “Commitment” is stopping, working to stop what all can go wrong. Commitment is “crisis management mood”, Responsibility is “creation mood”.
In a relationship, “Responsibility” means, constantly raising it to the next, next, next levels of Completion; “Commitment” means, trying to keep the plastic rose look like the real rose by spraying the perfumes. I tell you, “Commitment” is more like dragging; “Responsibility” is more like flowering. “Responsibility” means, feeling the present and future reality of both beings as one! “Commitment” means, somehow do actions, words, to keep it alive, keep going. There is a big difference between “Commitment” and “Responsible”.
Ask me this question, because I am seeing tons and tons “devoted”, and thousands and thousands “attached”!
In “devotion”, you try to experience my space of Completion. In “attachment”, you try your best to pull me down to your level of incompletion. If you expect me to act in the same pattern you wanted, it is “attachment”. If you evolve in the space I am living and radiating, it is “devotion”. That is all! Very simple definition!