Questionnaire: Nithyanandam Swamiji ! I’m going to ask a question after explaining about my doubt, I talked to my group here. This is about the, on the western side you have got the one day marriage, overnight married. They get married overnight, they fall in love and get married, and in India according to the Vedic tradition, we go around the Agni and all the rituals we do; and some of the current day -children born out of wedlock. So my question is, ‘What is sacred about marriage?’
Swamiji: Shall I give you a very straight answer?
The Cosmos does not recognize marriage.
That is the first thing.
Second, whatever you respect, if you keep that as a witness, that respect you have for that ideology becomes the sacredness for the marriage.
For example, I respect only one thing in my life – Arunachala. I don’t respect anything else. It is not that I disrespect, but in my heart if you ask me ‘What do you respect?’ it is Arunachala. If I give any commitment saying ‘That Arunachala is my witness I commit with you’ that’s it! I‘ll give my life to fulfil it! I’ll do everything and fulfil it. Because now what I respect as the most sacred thing in my life, I put that at stake! Same way, when you get married, if you respect fire as the most sacred…..
In our Hindu tradition, Vedic tradition, fire was the most sacred deity; even the stone deities are only next to Fire. A god has to be invoked first in the Fire which is visible. See, HE is in the Space; then HE is brought to Ether through Visualization; then HE is brought to Air through Verbalization – mantras; then HE is brought into the Fire. In the Fire only, first HE becomes visible to us; from Fire HE is invoked into Water, and from Water to the deity. That is the Kumbhabhishekam process.
So, in the Vedic tradition the Fire is considered very sacred. So, if you keep Fire as witness, and in front of Fire you declare the oath, that sacredness which you have for Fire is attributed to the marriage. Marriage itself is not recognized in the Cosmos. It is not recognized in the Cosmos. It’s almost like how you give a commitment that every day you will come for Yoga; and if you miss one day, you complete it! Same way, that level only marriage itself is recognized. Even in the Akashic Readings, Kaalabhairava has said marriage is not recognized in the Cosmos.
But, I am telling you, marriage solves a lot of unnecessary problems. Now you are stuck with only one problem!
All other problems, neither you have time to go and create all other problems, nor the other person allows you to create other problems! HAHAHAHAHAHA! So it is like a powerful possessiveness of the problem not letting you create another one problem, because if you create another one problem, this one problem cannot possess you. So, I don’t think that without marriage you will be with less problem. I tell you, marriage is okay; marriage is okay, because in many ways it reduces the number of problems you’ll create for yourself! You will be stuck with only one problem which is much better! So I do not think any sacredness is there by its own commitment level. So, let me just explain this problem once for all.
Man, by birth, is physiologically polygamous, psychologically monogamous. Psychologically he is capable of handling only one relationship, loving, responding, and taking responsibility and all that. Psychologically he does not have the capability to be polygamous. Physiologically he is polygamous, but psychologically he is monogamous. So, to solve the problem, either you should make your psychology into polygamous, or your physiology into monogamous. Making psychology into polygamous is very arduous, almost impossible. So, the best thing is making your physiology monogamous. So, to bring that kind of alignment, to bring the maturity, marriage has been started. I am not supporting your psychologically becoming polygamous or physiologically becoming monogamous. I am not supporting, and I am not opposing any of these. I am just stating the scientific facts, the inner science facts; facts of the inner science. Maybe we will be having one full day session on this one subject, ‘why so much of struggle in marriages’.
As I said, the world’ largest institution is ‘marriage’. And the world’s most cheated institution is marriage!
No, it’s true! Even Mahadeva cheated on Parvathi, I have reference, I can give you evidence! You can’t use the word, ‘cheating, cheating’, because they are gods, but in human level it is cheating only! Alright, we should not use the word ‘cheating’, because a personality like Mahadeva never cheats nor is He hypocritical.
Anyhow, marriage itself does not have sacredness by its own act, but it gets sanctity by the witnesses you bring, by the evidences you bring. If you bring Shiva as a witness and say, ‘I’ll get married keeping Shiva as witness…’, then it becomes sacred now; that’s it! So, you should always be very careful not to have any witness or evidence when you get married! But, that is not the moral of the story! It is the people who are there as witnesses, their sacredness is attributed to the sacredness of the marriage; that’s all! Mahadeva is so intelligent. Vishnu did not come as a witness for His marriage, He himself became Vishnu and got married to Meenakshi.